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Why are we anxious as women?

Updated: Feb 23

Why are we anxious as women?

Speaking with a journalist yesterday from The Daily Mail, she asked why do you think women aged 40 + are anxious and depressed? As many of her friends & confidants expressed some level of anxiety in their everyday lives.

And I asked her... why is she working on a Sunday with children in the background & for sure other commitments for the rest of the day?

She replied, "What other choice is there?".

Playing the traditional gender role as caretaker's, mothers, chefs & home makers, but also taking on the masculine role of being a BAD ASS power house in the work place. Exceeding all expectations; pretending we aren't tired when we have our monthly cycle. Acting as though working up to a day before giving birth is normal or makes us stronger, takes its toll!!!

anxious woman

We are tired, because we do it all alone. Traditionally, simply living & existing was done so in a tribe. We now aspire to do it all alone, which is near impossible. And so enters the anxiety!

We care for ourselves, our children, our income, our families, but we aren't blessed with the help of our community any longer. So when overwhelmed, what's the first thing we stop caring for? Ourselves.

Eventually, hitting 30 years plus, all the emotions we have buried whilst firefighting through every day life, start to emerge. At this point your body shows what the mind can't tell you.

You feel flat, lethargic, anxious & as though life has no meaning, all signs to make you stop and listen. Your body knows how to protect you. So it throws the symptoms in your way, hoping you won't ignore it anymore.

The physical symptoms may include palpitations, low heart rate, difficulty breathing, migraines, anxiety attacks, hyperventilating, dizziness, passing out etc. Often happening one or twice a week sporadically and as we continue our normal lives, the frequency increases to daily occurrences. The body sends signs that it needs change. We just don't always know what it's asking for.

Listen to your bodies whispers before it starts screaming, then you can harness positive stress

So what's the answer?

  1. Slow it down. It's unrealistic I know, to expect you can just stop everything. Work, kids, family, life! It doesn't just stop. But if you really delve deeper, often there's some actions we all take daily that just aren't necessary. If that's not true, then consider what parts of your life need to be changed to give yourself time for the most important person in your life (YOU).

  2. Build your trusted tribe. Make an effort to have a community with like minded people. Those who you can lean on when you need support. Cook dinners for them, and they'll do the same for you. Check in on them when they're struggling, and they will reciprocate. It's important your tribe gives as much as they take. Chose these people wisely.

  3. Breathe. The most important thing of all. When you manage to plant your feet on the ground, get rooted & breathe. Learn to breathe deeply in your belly (there's a lot of apps & you tube videos which will teach you). As I've said to many clients, if you can't control your breathe, why do you expect to be able to control anything else in your life!

Until we build our sisterhood, caring for each other, our families & friends together, we will continue to fall fending for ourselves. When we learn to go back to a more simple time, only then will our power as women continue to grow.

If you suffer from anxiety or depression & need support with somatic tools for healing, please book in with The Whole Body Pharmacist. There's no need to suffer alone.


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