Sat reminiscing on my days at The University of Manchester, studying Masters in Pharmacy, to become a Clinical Pharmacist. And how much has changed. How much I have changed, how much technology and science have changed, and how little faith I have in the principles I learnt along side my great friend Ravi. He wasn't teaching the principle, he was sat eating a Greggs chicken pasty (every single day) but he was my accomplice back then & still is to this day. But these days his focus is on the state of interest rates.
It's funny thinking back, the one thing they never taught us at uni, is how important nutrition is for the health of your body...unless I was skiving that day.
At the tender age of 18, I saw 'mature' students working so hard to gain this degree and a new career, I used to think they were ancient. I don't think I even spoke with them, they looked too much like a potential elder family member who would dissapprove of my terrible time keeping and the number of times I rolled my eyes, or looked over for a laugh with my friends mid lecture. But they were in there late 30's just as I am now. And now I understand why they decided to change their career path and their lives at this wonderful age.
This rheotric about the mid life crisis, painting our 40's onwards as a disaster waiting to happen, as though death is around the corner and our mental health will fail us along the way. Well I can say I am blessed enough to beg to differ!
In my late 30's I have observed, analysed, questioned and pondered over so much more than I ever did in my 20's. Don't get me wrong I still made a shit load of mistakes, but the truth is I made a few less than the previous decade, and those I did make, I tried to learn from. I learnt my value, not fully, but I am well on the way. This is a journey afterall. I also learnt how insignificant I am (not in a mellow dramatic woo is me way), in the grand scheme of things, in this whole wide world, amongst billions of humans, I am a speck. I am fragile and I am really nothing. Throughout hundreds of thousands of years, so many would have come and gone, and just as I pay little regard to their pre existence, those who come after me, will also pay little regard to mine. I am part of a cosmic circle, and all I can do in this life, is serve my local community, to my best ability, creating good Karma for my next lives, I hope.
All I can do is help you heal
Now as my 40th birthday looms, I realise this is my gift. I knew that when I went to University. But I didn't know it in this way. I just wanted a safe career, with flexibility. I actually wanted to use my skills more so to help family members who suffered ill health. It's after all of these years, I realise that any one I come in to contact with, I have a duty of care to. This is my service, and this is my lifes path. Coming to forty, the big 4-0, mid life (should I live to 80), I think I have come to terms with what and who I currently am. I am a different person now, compared to when I was 20, I hope to evolve to something and some one else in another 20 years. Ever growing, ever learning, ever observing.
The key things I wish for all to know, which have helped keep me mentally and physically well are as follows:
Boundaries, said to often, and very little understood. Our boundaries are breached and set according to our childhood. If you can't figure out how to set them, in a way which creates safety for you, then consider booking in with me. With coaching + mentoring it's possible to have genuine boundaries and workthrough the shadow parts of us, to love them and accept them.
Sanghat, in other words, your TRIBE. Look around you, who's your community. What do they bring to your table, and what do they take away. Not physically, but emotionally. We are as good, well, healthy and happy as those we surround ourselves with.
Nutrition; I have done it all. Heavily meat based diet, to vegetarian. Loved a Greggs pasty or two for many years all to often, to not touching any pastry or butter for 3 years. And it is now I find balance, and try not to shame myself when I go against healthy eating advice. I've learnt more about food and what I am putting in my body by figuring out how to cook it all myself at home. The only way to learn about food is to know every ingredient. We are blessed to have options that so many in the world do not. Currently the food industry is taking advantage of our privilege by feeding our greed, leading to the Big Pharma companies medicating it afterwards. They are not here to help us, they are here to line their pockets.
Move your body. Discharge energy stuck inside you, holding you back. Trauma (big or small) is the blockage of energy stuck in your body. We can only release this when we move. Otherwise the energy stagnates along side our bodies. Somatic Therapy helps to locate the areas in our body needing tender care and releasing of what once was, and no longer needs to hold us back.
I wish for all of you to love each chapter, if you can't love it, then just observe. Nothing changes without awareness, and nothing is appreciated without conciousness. Otherwise the good things just pass us by, in a blink of an eye.
I think this has been the time of my life, and I want to thank my Husband (in the pic above). He's wonderful, hes my Sanghat. Looking forward to enjoying the next chapters with you. As our good friend Gurds says "Live, Laugh, Love" - disclaimer, he hates that saying!
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